Crappy Mothers day

You would think i would be used to feeling so unloved by now but my feelings still get hurt on every holiday is seems.
This morning after making breakfast for Chris and telling him that Jack called me to say happy mothers day i asked him if he was going to even acknowledge me. He farted and said not with you being a bitch about it!
Fuck off asshole.
Mothers day is the one day a year i want validation that im a good mom not with gifts and cards but appreciation of just simply saying "happy mothers day your a great mom" but instead i get ass hole.
My birthday i was alone with no acknowledgment along with new years and valentines day.

Im sick of him using the excuse that he works so much for everything. Mothers day is the same damn day every freaking year!!!
Just having jack make a picture would have been nice.

I had a feeling that me working wasn't going to help us any and it hasn't. now we just find other things to fight about. Before it was always about how much he works and how tired he is and we never money. i may only work a few hours a day but its hard work and im so tired and then have to take care of the house and the boy on top of picking up after chirs too! It like he doesnt even notice im working too!

I will admit that i do have thougts if i would happy alone since thats how i feel most of the time anyway.

I may have lost my mind.

Since there are so many people who have issues with cosplay your body type i really want to do Ursula as kind a fuck off!

 

I think i will do it a bit different though. Im thinking my black corset and making a skirt similar to this one cause the ones i have seen with the hanging tentacles look linda silly with your legs hanging out. 

I did find a victorian pattern that i think would work well for it just gotta get a job to pay for the massive amout of material. 

Happy woody vestei

 Jack is so happy with his new Woody costume. Im glad i sew and can make him so simply happy with a cow vest, yellow shirt, jeans and hat.

He has a habbit of wearing a different costume on a daily basis. Gee i wonder where he get thats.

When it was time to take it off for the night it was like i was tormenting him but it went in the box with the rest of his awesome costumes for another day.

Rocking horse my great grandpa made my mom

I want a beyonce chicken

I now have a huge obsession with the blog The Bloggess!!!
She is so freaking funny.
She has the most random conversations with her husband about unicorn clubs, robot cats, and other silly things.
One day she was going shopping for towels and her husband said no more towels so instead she brought home a 5 foot metal colorful chicken and left it on the doorstep with the caption. Knock Knock Mother fucker!!!!
Of course he was mad but she said at least it wasn't towels.
I explained the blog to Chris who of course gets her humor so we have having fun the whole thing.
She also has severe hospital inducing panic attacks and depression and alot of health issues that she finds funny thing to blog about like do with chester and arnold.

She also has a long running thing with messing with Nathon Fillion cause he wont send her a picture of him holding twine but got Wil Weaton to send her a picture of him collating papers just to mess with stupid PR people who try to spam her.

I am not a reader like at all but so want to read her book when it comes out next month.

Gotta snap out of it!!!!

I am trying so hard to get out of my dance funk but its not working.
I listen to music everyday and find stuff i want to do.
we were supposed to Earth Day like we do every year and i was even making Jack a super cute outfit to wear but there is a workshop that same day so no one is doing it now.
There is also an event in May i would love to do for an art thing but nobody wants to do that either.
I cant do stuff alone, for security reasons and the stupid fat girl dancer things.
I may have confidence when i dance for people that come to belly dance events knowing what to expect but have too many times of dancing for other people and been heckled and yes assholes i can hear your rude ass comments from the stage!!
I miss the days of our group doing events together and having so much fun but now nobody wants to do anything.

I am also realizing the very limited amount of friends i actually have anymore.
I was alone on birthday, alone on Christmas, alone on new years, its frustrating that i don't know why or what i did to make people not want to hang out with me. Im fun damn it.
I don't even have my husband to hang out with me like other people do. I'm alone every Saturday with no kid or car. 
I am always there when people need me but have been  stepped on so much that i don't know why i keep doing it.

Sapphire Phoenix dances over the past few years.

I feel so old today

I feel like im falling apart.
13 years ago i had surgery on my left wrist for tendonitis and afterwards found out it wasnt done right and have permeanet damage. That i have gotten used to. Sometimes i cant use my thumb and have a bone that pushes on the tendons.
Shortly after moving into this house my Right knee started to crunch going down the stairs.
Now my right shoulder is on fire! It started when i was still doing hair but wasnt too bad. Suddenly its been really bad. i think its tendonitis on that side too. It starts in my wrist and goes up.
Its the same side i sprained my neck a few years ago so i wonder if thats connected.

Im sure some of my body pains are due to my weight but im not going there right now. LOL