Letting go

I have been Belly dancing now for almost 8 years i guess. I have moments of loving and hating it. I suppose that goes for any hobby.
I loved teaching especially the belly kids classes but that all changed because of one persons selfishness greed.
I got a call one night from a troupe member that the doors the studio are locked and we are done with the studio. Umm WTF!
Christina the troupe leader for Diva Soma had been using our troupe money to pay her personal debt and falling wayyyyyy behind on studio rent. We all knew when the studio opened it wouldn't last. She has always been horrible with money of any kind.
As a troupe we decided it was the last strraw and we all left the troupe of Diva Soma and started Raqs Awn Belly Dance Collective.
As Raqs Awn we begin as a way to help the community come back together that had been ripped apart by Christina. For the first year it was lots of fun, being able to dance to what ever i wanted and not have to do weekly rehearsals and such.
The summer of 2010 was a rough one. We were still working through stuff and im still holding a grudge because of all the drama about people not wanting me to bring Jack to anything! A few people are trying too hard to make us more professional and thats not what i want to be a part of.
I still dont understand why its ok for those same people to bring there kids who yell and scream and run around but not my super well behaved child.
Well now Raqs  Awn seems to have lost its Mojo including me.
I need to remember that i dance for me and not anyone else, if i want to dance to random stuff like star wars or Lady Gaga then im gonna!
A few months before Diva Soma split we were working on our dances for Nebraska Belly Dance Spectuclar that as a troupe we helped Christina start. Well needless to say none of us went that year.
Its been 3 years so i went last night. It was a great show.
Its funny how i never fell the best about my dancing but i take it as a compliment that every person i came across that knows me as Sapphire Phoenix kept asking why i wanst dancing.
Christina actually asked me to dance next year, I told her that i don't do traditional anymore and she was very strict on that for the show but she told me just to do Oojami or something like that more upbeat.
I will never dance with her again or give her money but its silly to keep holding onto something that we cant change this many years later.